The secret to writing relationships, friendships, and rivalries that readers obsess over

Deadpool and Wolverine has something in common with cheesy Hallmark movies.

Romance novels and buddy comedies share it too, so does that hero and villain you like to ship.

All the best fictional relationships have one key element that makes the relationship so satisfying that readers obsess over it, make fanart, and ship the characters even though they know they're just friends and it'll never happen.

No matter the nature of the relationship, the answer is the same.

A combination of connection and conflict. Things that bring the characters together and things that pull them apart.

Conflict can be deadly like between a hero and villain or it might be something minor like a deeply in love elderly couple who tease each other. Similarly, connection could mean soulmates or two people who just really like the same game.

This tension between the thing that draws two characters together and the thing that separates them is what creates chemistry. And even platonic relationships need chemistry. Think of how a buddy comedy succeeds or fails based on the rapport of the leads.

It also makes your relationships realistic. After all, I bet there's something that annoys you about the person or animal you love the most in the whole world.

Connection and conflict even apply to heroes and villains. The best heroes and villains see something of themselves in the other or have some kind of connection.

It's why they're often related, but you can come up with more interesting connections! Maybe they're foils to each other (and if you need help figuring out your characters The Essential Character Creation Workbook).

But knowing how two characters feel about each other means nothing if it's not put into action on the page. So, let's dive into how to turn a relationship into a plot or subplot.

How to structure a relationship plot or subplot

The system we're about to show you works for almost any type of relationship.

Romances, buddy comedies, familial relationships, and even villain redemption arcs actually follow the same plot structure. Hard to believe, I know, but we'll prove it to you! This structure can also be applied to relationships that are subplots rather than the main driving element of the story.

This plot structure follows the same pattern we talked about in relationship development above: connection and conflict. In the context of plot, these are called upswings and drops, and you alternate between them.

Upswings are moments that bring your characters together. It's when they connect, find common ground, or are happy with each other.

Note that happiness is relative. Maybe they're happy in love or maybe they just have a moment of understanding.

Each upswing is followed by a drop. This is something that tears the characters apart and leads to a conflict between them.

The upswing makes the drop more dramatic and even painful for both the characters and the readers because we just saw these two people in a relatively good place, only to watch them fall apart.

Each drop is then followed by another upswing where the characters find a way past their differences--or are just forced to work together.

Connection and conflict, alternating.

Note that upswings and drops don't have to occur one scene after another. They can last multiple chapters and other events can take place between them.

In a story with a happy ending, you finish with the ultimate upswing for that particular relationship. If you want a tragic ending, finish with a drop for those characters.

Example: Buddy comedy

Let's look at a buddy comedy example from Deadpool and Wolverine: The two experience an upswing while driving in the van. They have a moment of relative calm and their first sincere conversation... Until Wade lets it slip that he lied and he's not positive they can save Logan's friends. This causes a drop where the two beat each other into unconsciousness.

Example: Villain and hero

This system also holds for relationships with a villain who is on a redemptive arc. In Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zuko and Katara bond while being held captive in the caves under Ba Sing Se. This gives us hope that Zuko can be redeemed and join the heroes...

Until he sides with his sister to attack Katara and Aang. This is the drop, and it's made more painful by having experienced a moment when our sometimes-villain/future-hero showed that he was capable of being better.

Example: Romance

Han and Leia in the original Star Wars trilogy drive each other insane but still fall madly in love. Leia is annoyed by Han's scoundrel ways and initial lack of commitment to the rebellion while Han is annoyed by her idealism and habit of constantly calling him out. 

While this separates them, they're also drawn together by their shared courage, recklessness, and strong wills. I think they're also drawn to the aspects they find annoying in each other, which creates extra chemistry.

How many upswings and drops do you need?

It depends. You can do as many or as few as you like.

As a rule of thumb: A full-length novel, where the relationship is front and center, has three upswings followed by three drops. Each is more intense than the one before.

The third drop occurs around the 75% mark of the story when the characters face their Dark Night of the Soul or their lowest point (need to know more about plot structure? Check out The Chaos to Clarity Bundle).

The story then ends with either a final fourth upswing when the characters overcome their drop and are happy together, or they never overcome the drop and you end on a tragic note.

If your story is shorter, or if the relationship is a subplot and not central to the story, you can shorten the number of upswings and drops.

Relationship development worksheet:

We're big fans of practical and to-the-point worksheets to help turn theory into actual stories. So, to create an irresistible fictional relationship for your fantasy or sci-fi story, answer these questions:

What character A wants from the relationship

What character B wants from the relationship

What brings them together

What they teach each other

What separates them/comes between them/causes conflict between them

Relationship plot worksheet:

Upswing 1:

Drop 1:

Upswing 2:

Drop 2:

Upswing 3:

Drop 3 (the worst one):

Final outcome:

Want a handy printable version of these worksheets? Click here.