How to make writing a priority when life is stressful
Do you ever wake up looking forward to writing... but the dog needs a walk and the kids are fighting again and the dishes are dirty and your boss sends you a text that is supposedly urgent but probably isn't and work goes long, and by the time everything quiets down... you're so tired you look like a mummy when it's first pulled from its tomb?
So, the best you can hope for is to scroll the internet until you fall asleep to The Late Show?
It's hard to find the time and energy to be creative in a society set up to crush the creativity out of us (unless it's turning a profit for our corporate bosses, of course).
That so many of us still create and that the artistic world is still thriving just proves that the need to make things is embedded in us as humans.
While creating in this world is hard, it is possible to find time and energy to write even if you're not lucky enough to have parents or a partner to pay the way. The entire Scribe Forge team wrote and published our first books while working soul-crushing day jobs.
Here's how to make writing a priority even when life is demanding you set it aside:
Designate one hour a day as writing time--and protect it.
One of my writer friends wakes up an hour before her child to write. If like me, you need 20 alarms to wake up, write at lunch, go to a café directly after work, or write an hour in the evening.
It doesn't matter when you do it, the important thing is to pick one an hour a day and stick to the schedule (with some caveats I'll talk about soon).
Now, here's the hard part: You have to give something up to find that hour.
Choosing to do one thing means choosing NOT to do something else. Everything we decide to do comes at the cost of all the other things we can't accomplish during that same timeframe. So, if you want to write, you have to give up something you're currently doing.
It might be getting up an hour early, doing a certain chore once a week instead of daily, skipping lunch, refusing to stay late at work, or a million other things. But unless you're swimming in free time, you have to choose something to put aside so you can write.
Now for the hardest part of all: People will intrude on your writing time. And you have to stop them.
Put your phone on silent and leave it in another room.
Tell your family that you're not available for an hour and if they call for you, ignore them.
If you have kids too young to be left alone, write while they do their homework or park them in front of the TV. One hour won't hurt them.
If the dishes need washing, leave them. Even if you have to leave them for another day.
Protect that writing time like it’s a tennis ball and you're a grumpy dog who doesn't want anyone to throw it.
Make it clear to everyone that during that time, you are unavailable for anything short of a life-threatening emergency. Whatever issues come up during that hour, you'll deal with them afterward. The world won't fall apart without you for 60 minutes.
More than that, you deserve a bit of time each day to pursue your dream and to feed your soul.
Of course, achieving this can seem impossible if you work long hours and are raising kids. Not all of us can easily find an hour in the day, that's where the next tip is especially helpful.
Ask for support
If you can, ask for help to protect that hour of writing time.
Have your partner keep the kids busy. If your kids are old enough, ask them to help by being quiet or making their own dinners.
Join a writer's group in person or online so you have someone waiting for you to show up and write. This made all the difference for me when I was struggling to finish my first novel.
If you can, hire a coach or find a mentor to support you. If you can't afford that, talk to a friend or partner about your writing instead.
Ask for whatever help you need to spend that one hour a day writing.
Write even if you don't feel like it (but take a rest if you're dealing with an illness or emergency)
If you're dealing with an illness or need to find an after-hours plumber because your toilet exploded, take the day off from writing. You're allowed to rest when you need it.
But, and this is crucial, don't skip days because you "don't feel like writing."
The weird thing about creating any piece of art is that you don't feel like doing it. But once you get over that initial craggy hill of doom, you enter the rolling meadows of sweet wildflowers.
In other words, it gets easier once you start.
If you wait until you feel like writing, you'll write one day a month. Which is fine if that's all you want to do and you're happy with it. But if you need regular progress, you can't wait for inspiration or you'll be sitting around forever like Fry's dog in Jurassic Bark. (Sorry!)
So, you only get to take a day off when you're sick or facing an emergency.
If you can't write, think.
An object in motion stays in motion. So, the more often you write, the easier it is.
But I've found you don't have to put words on the page or screen to keep your momentum.
Daydreaming scenes, thinking about a tricky plot point, or holding a conversation with a character in your head also keeps your mind working on your story.
If you can't write, for whatever reason, think instead. When you return to your story, it'll be fresh and your mind will be revved and ready to go like the opening of Mario Kart.
Forgive yourself if you miss a day (week, month, or year)
If you skip your writing time, forgive yourself for it, even if you skipped months or years.
It's okay.
Your creativity and your skills aren't going anywhere. They'll be there for you when you come back like a dog waiting by a door (can you tell I wrote this with my dog, Winnie, snoozing on my feet?).
On top of that, anger or disappointment in yourself only leads to shame. And shame leads to avoiding the task that caused it. To go back to your project, you need to forgive yourself. Your characters and story will. They'll just be glad to see you again like a dog when you come home (okay, maybe there are too many dog metaphors in this).
If you need help managing life and writing, The Essential Life Planner for Writers features project trackers and a daily spread that helps you prioritize all parts of your life to find and protect your writing time.